Chief Counselor's Duty Log #2 - "Mixed Emotions"
Posted on Tue Jan 9th, 2018 @ 2:11pm by Lieutenant Commander Tate Sullivan Ph.D.
After a long period of downtime, I must say I have mixed feelings about returning to duty. It's going to sound like a bit of a counselor cliché, but I'm not used to having downtime on my own, and just about the time I finally get used to the idea, it seems it's always time to go back to work. Truthfully, I only attempt to take down time because I know if I don't, I would be a hypocrite. How can I advocate for rest and relaxation for the rest of the crew if I'm not willing to do so myself? Still, I'm not used to sitting even semi-idle and it takes time to get comfortable with it without climbing the walls. Success is when I can lose myself in a novel of the print or holo- variety, where I can lose myself in even fictional psyches or when I decided to leave my quarters or my comfortably adorned hotel room to get to know other people and imagine for just a moment when it would be like to have their lives instead of my own.
A lot of people think counselors have a good deal of free time, especially during scheduled R&R. The truth is, counselors have the potential to be busy every waking moment depending on the circumstances, especially during R&R. That's the time when people have time to reflect on past events and potentially absorb emotions they've been compartmentalizing until they have any opportunity for a break in the chaos. For some, going back to duty is a welcome relief because it gives them something else to focus on beyond their own thoughts.
I find myself in a state somewhere in between, slow to rev up, but also eager and excited for a break in routine. In the meantime, I will offer a silent prayer that I will have the words and the fortitude to guide the crew through whatever is to come.