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Afterthoughts and aftershocks

Posted on Mon Jul 17th, 2017 @ 3:39am by Commander Aurelia Holmes
Edited on Mon Jul 17th, 2017 @ 3:44am

"Computer, record personal log.

It's been several hours since Commander Taylor left. He did say I could call him Gary, but after what happened I'm not so sure he's even going to want to talk to me. I let slip some family ghosts and past failed relationship details, then chose to do something really stupid. That made him mad, and me scared. Just how I'm going to be able to face him on the bridge or even in the corridor, I just don't know. What if he reports it all to the Captain? My whole career could sink without trace, why do I even try to trust men? I'm still a little shaky even now, tried to get some sleep but couldn't. Things couldn't have started better, he arrived we talked we got into deep talk. Then I go stripping off and shouting at him to talk to me about his private life, like he's going to do that with some nut job whose half naked. What the hell was I thinking? Where the hell was my self control?

My life is a bloody shambles right now, and like some schoolgirl I go looking for love. Me looking for love??? Have you ever heard of anything so bloody daft in your life? Now some MAN has my life in his hands, I suppose the old threats will start soon. You know the ones, (Give me sex and I'll keep my mouth shut) and (Oh come on now, it's only me and my three or four friends. You can handle that, or do I report you to Star Fleet General Command). I wonder how long it will take? They just can't help themselves, a pair of boobs and a comfort hole and they just got to have them. And share them, just to show they have the power to make you do what ever they want.

I could always go to the Captain first, and ask to be transferred. But then she would want to know the flipping reason, and the shit would hit the fan. What do I do? I can't even talk to the councillor, 1 she doesn't like me and 2 she would report to the Captain because I'm in a command position. I wonder if I could bluff that Gorn doctor, see if he would give me a sleeping pill or two. I could save them up, only need nine or ten. I will wait and see what happens tomorrow, computer save log and place it in my personal file under countdown. End log".


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